Woman Healed after Touching Ruto
(“Let the hustlers come to me”. The DP declared) While on the campaign trail, the DP held a mini-rally at a local town center where he...
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- Jul 11
- 1 min
Team Mafisi to Protest Wajackoyah
Controversial presidential candidate, Wajackoyah, has come under fire from Team Mafisi over his plans to export their testicles for...
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- Jul 4
- 1 min
Ruto Admits to Drawing Inspiration from Will Smith
Leaked audio has revealed that Chief Hustler once felt a strong urge to slap his boss and longtime friend, Uhuru Kenyatta. The DP has not...
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- Jun 27
- 1 min
Diana trains Professional Mourners after Bahati's Jubilee Ticket is Revoked Again
(There shall be crying and gnashing of teeth until I get my Mathare Ticket back) Political zoning in Azimio La Umoja has intensified over...
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- Jun 23
- 1 min
Masterclass: Introduction to African Proverbs AKA Vitendawili
Mr Odinga has launched his long-awaited course on Vitendawili. The move comes days after his political nemesis, Mr Ruto, launched his...
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- Jun 22
- 1 min
Kibe Whips Jesus for Crying
(Where are your whips?) After videos showing that Jesus wept surfaced on the internet, the whole nation waited patiently for The Andrew...
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- Jun 21
- 1 min
Babu Owino: Jacaranda Residents are Shot Put Athletes who Practice on Sundays
(Practice Makes Perfect) Babu Owino has rubbished DP Ruto’s claims that rowdy Jacaranda residents stoned his convoy. Instead, he has...
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- Jun 20
- 1 min
Masterclass: Bible Memorization Skills for Dummies
(Bizness Legit. Hapa hakuna utapeli) In the wake of his impressive Bible knowledge, Mr. Ruto has launched his masterclass. The move comes...
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- Jun 18
- 1 min
DCI to Switch to Shembeteng on Twitter Threads to Curb Violent Crime
(Tunawa Lombotove) Amid an increase in violent crimes in Nairobi, the DCI has vowed to tackle the matter seriously. “The problem is that...
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- Jun 17
- 1 min
Azimio Apologizes Over Lack of Violence in Political Rallies
(“We have fallen short, and we apologize”) A brief moment of violence was witnessed during an Azimio rally in Ukambani as Party Leader...
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- Jun 16
- 1 min
Jesus Rejected in Nazareth over Lack of Academic Qualifications
(Only the educated are fit to lead) This week, Jesus came under fire for lack of academic qualifications. In a recent move to purge...
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- Jun 11
- 1 min
Paper Shortage Reported after the Publication of Shembeteng Volume 1
“Hii lumbutugha inaenda mpaka majumbutu” After a guide to the new hip language, Shembeteng, was published by the Government Press, there...
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- Jun 10
- 1 min
Kibe to Lead Kenya’s First-Ever Self-flagellation Ritual
“Kenyan men have become lambistic pieces of sh*t,” Kibe barked with his whip in hand. Speaking from Austin, Texas, Kibe declared that...
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- Jun 9
- 1 min
Wajackoyah’s Missing Lighter Found on Muthiora Kariara
“Mi wan thank Jah fi dis man.” Rejected presidential aspirant Muthioora Kariara has been trending for throwing a tantrum after the IEBC...
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- Jun 8
- 1 min
Safaricom Rebrands to offering Mama Mboga Services
“Nyanya ni tatu mbao” Peter Ndegwa told reporters. In a shock move, Safaricom has left the telecommunications industry and ventured into...
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- Jun 7
- 1 min
Tabitha Karanja Dons Security Uniform to Distance Herself from Keroche Breweries Ownership
“Mimi nafanya kama security wa hii kabuni” Mrs. Karanja told reporters. With reports looming that Mrs Karanja may be barred from running...
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- Jun 5
- 1 min
Black Sherif Features Ann Kananu in Kwaku the Traveller Remix
(“Of course, I f*cked up! Who never f*cked up hands in the air.” Said the governor in a press conference) This week, Nairobi’s 3rd...
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- Jun 4
- 1 min
Karua and Ruto Locked in Fierce Bible Challenge Competition to the Death
“I shall show her no mercy,” said the DP clutching his bible. Following their embarrassing bible skills showcase at the recent National...
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- Jun 3
- 1 min
Chaos at the Alchemist Bar as Confused Bouncers Kick Everyone out after Power Outage
“In my defence, everyone appeared black.” The bouncer argued Pandemonium ensued at the Alchemist Bar after everyone was kicked out when...
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- Jun 2
- 1 min
Governor Kingi Wows Crowd with Impressive Deadlift Technique
(“Just start from the bottom going up.” the governor advised.) During a recent political rally in a local town, Kilifi Governor Amason...
