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Masterclass: Bible Memorization Skills for Dummies


(Bizness Legit. Hapa hakuna utapeli)

In the wake of his impressive Bible knowledge, Mr. Ruto has launched his masterclass. The move comes after the DP reflected on his life after politics.

“My fren, this is Kenya. Lazima Plan B. Si unajua mimi ni hustler,” he told reporters.

Mr. Ruto further stated that his target market includes men of the cloth and politicians.

“As a politician, it is important to serenade one’s lies with bible verses.” He said. “Nothing beats a good bible verse when trying to divert from real issues.”

“Bible verses sanitize politicians, my fren. Why do you think I have so many sympathy votes?”

One reporter asked how he would market his course to clergymen, yet he constantly misquotes the bible.

“That is the secret. Clergymen should misquote the bible as frequently as possible.” The DP said, laughing.

“The congregation will look up the bible to try to fact-check you. They always do this to me. They will end up reading two bible verses. The one you misquoted and the real one.”

“That is what I call doing the Lord’s work.”

“So please, support me and my honest hustle. Sitaki nikue conman kama ile mutu ya gitendawili.”

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