Riggy G Visits Jesus in Secret with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Amid Drought

As drought continues to ravage the country, the Deputy President, Riggy G, decided to take matters into his own hands. After hearing of the miraculous feeding of 5,000 people by the Son of Man, Riggy G decided to try his luck

Armed with 5 loaves and 2 tilapia, the DP secretly visited Jesus.

“What can I do for you, my child?” asked the Nazarene.

“I heard that you can feed crowds, my Lord. My country is in the midst of a drought. Please take this bread and fish and feed my people.”

“Why does thou come to thee yet thou hast enough for thyselves?” Jesus asked.

“Apana buana. We inherited a dilapidated economy from Uhuru Kenyatta. He and the deep state used up all the money on BBI and buying politicians. We are broke.” Riggy G retorted.

“But hasn’t thou been giving people jobs for coming up with nicknames? Surely thou must have money to buy food,” said Christ.

“Buana Yesu. That young lady is a qualified linguist. The most qualified in fact. These are people who are valuable to our government. Just as it was in the Mwai Kibaki days, we promised the youth jobs, and we shall give them exactly that. Unlike a certain someone who I'll not mention but whose name starts with Uhuru and ends with Kenyatta.”

“But thou also sent relief food to Somalia,” Jesus said.

“Well… you see…umm…Uhuru…umm” Riggy G stammered. “Actually, it is all Uhuru Kenyatta’s fault”, he started. The DP then went on a one-hour rant about Uhuru before he was chased out by Jesus using the whip he used on people at the temple.